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Catch of the Day is the chef's wife's boyfriend.

"I knew it."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'We need more cake shows!'

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"Freshly ground pepper, sir?"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

'Table cloth is filthy.' 'We've been open since 1976.'

"How's everything?"

Deadpan Delivery.

"Captain, this Brie is totally out of control!"

'I like home cooking if it's in someone else's home.'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

"All the world’s a stage, and we merely the actors/waiters."

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."