Food Decorator Pillows

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas Tree

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Beanirrito"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Happy Turkey Day!

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Mouse with a cat cake.

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

'I wanted a change in decor.'