Food Decoration Pillows

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

Come dine with me!

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Happy Easter

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.