Food Court Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Our kids always whine about what's for dinner, so we finally had a food court installed.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Quick swig first?"

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Slow food restaurant