Food Chain Ponderer T-Shirts

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"Olive, twist, or vole?"

"Finally they agreed to meet you, but remember, no matter what they say, you hold your tongue."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Cat and mouse

Vegetarian Birds

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'How is the water prepared?'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"Think about it: You're about to create fifty two orphans!"

Zoo - Animals that we eat and animals that eat us.

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

"I have to know who brought this disgusting eucalyptus casserole!"

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"Survival of the fittest, pal - in the end, it's best for all concerned."

A small fish's unnatural protection against predatory birds.

Fred knew he was safe as long as he stayed in the puddle...

"No thanks, I'm vegetarian."

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Thanks.'

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

"Yes, it was a lovely meal wasn't it? I used a marvellous new caterer called 'pest control'."

'I'm putting you on a zebra free diet.'

"Hey Bob, come quick, I've found a carcass, and big bonus: It's crawling with maggots!"

"Table five looks good. We’ll have that."

"Let's find a river darling: I feel like freshwater fish for dinner tonight..."

"If we weren't at the top of the food chain, we'd know it."

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"What do you mean 'What's for lunch'? You're a bee eater!"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"