Food Chain Observer T-Shirts

"Table five looks good. We’ll have that."

The Bird Feeder

Cat and mouse

"Let's find a river darling: I feel like freshwater fish for dinner tonight..."

Feeder Mice

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Step on it, Larry.'

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"Olive, twist, or vole?"

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

A small fish's unnatural protection against predatory birds.

'The food inspector, Sir!'

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

The food inspector

'What did you find in your soup?'

M.D. Yeah, I experienced some sudden weight gain, but that was the week I swallowed warthog.

Food Uncertainty