Food And Drug Safety Follower Gifts

'The F.D.A. has recalled everything!'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Honest Vending

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"What do you recommend today?"

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Food inspection results

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."