Food Analysts Gifts

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"They’re real."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Population train.

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

Monsanto - "Bad news, the tomato gene has jumped species"

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

See, Peanut? I told you that 'Melt in your mouth, not in your hand' line would get you in trouble someday!

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"Is the hamburger innovative?"

GM Food and World Hunger

"God, I'll never eat another hot dog again after seeing how they're made!"

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

U.S. Bread Basket.

Price and serving size: A guide.

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'He just comes in to laugh at our menu.'

'Sir, I'm authorized to buy 400 tons of your products. Not as provisions but to stock up our arsenal of biological and chemical weapons.'

Young Professional Recipe Test

Big Turmeric

'Today's specials are based on information that we believe to be reliable, but are not intended to be, nor should be construed to be, a recommendation.'

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

No cows were harmed in the making of this beefburger.

"What do I recommend? Get your coats and go to the restaurant across the road!"

"Not only our fishcakes. Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a granny."

"Oh, sure, I eat gluten ... but only in certain restaurants."

'When did I sign up for a taste test?'