Food Additive Aficionado T-Shirts

'Seven dollars for dilauril thiodipropionate. I think I'll switch to potassium metabisulfite.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"We're making progress."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"All we've come up with so far is that new meatloaf."

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

'I think we're going to have to put some more calcium in your diet.'

'Time for your One-a-Year vitamin supplement pill, dear.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

"I've been working with pain-killers - anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxants..."

"Why are you crossing a turkey with an octopus?"

"This stuff comes with a prize! If you can pronounce all the ingredients, you get an honorary degree in chemistry."

"I love ice cream with artificial vanilla and a dash of chocolate substitute!"

'No, not 25 years - we've just added our 25th artificial ingredient.'

"Something from the supplement cart?"

'I've tried giving him lots of E numbers - but still nothing...!'

'Miss Raleigh, I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitimins.'

From coach potato to kitchen potato!

'I care about my family. That's why I take a supplement for iron poor blood.'

Vitamins

Wicked E number in an ingredients

''Light' beer bottles. Somewhere there's a slob on a diet.'