Font Of Wisdom Gifts

I can quote you without using your name, but not as "a really smart senior official who knows more than you do."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history." "You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses." "What's that mean?" "Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity... even its identity." "The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history." "(Yawn) Old people talk a lot." "What I'm saying is, you were not my firs

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

'You've wasted a lot of time. It's all on my blog.'

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

Chicken--Egg.

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

Garbage is a collector's item.

'try moderation next time!'

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

One final question: How do i get down from here without breaking a leg?

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

'To begin with, my son, everything is illusory... Hey! --you gave me counterfeit money!'

Philosophy 201: Readings from the works of Descartes, Kant,Spinoza, Plato, Sartre, Yogi Berra & Vince Lombardi.

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"