Flowering Fiction Fan Gifts

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

The Busy Gardener

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

So Close..

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

J. R. R. Tolkien

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Bee flying to another flower.

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Dating an English Major

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Cats and gardens.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Bees SOS

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

Gardening Terms: Black Spot

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

'That plant food really works!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"