Flirty Chef Pillows

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

Sushi Train Set.

'Tasty bird.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Hey, honey bun!'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Christmas Canapes

'Tasty.'

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'What the devil is that?

Artichoking victim

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."