Flirty Banter Aficionado Pillows

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'

Love in Boom

"Wow, you look sexy today."

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

Sexy Slot Machine

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

Know-it-alls

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

'I'm writing a phone book...Can I have your number, please?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"I'm curious. Why did you toss a coin just before you came over here and asked us if we'd like a drink?"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Fill 'er up!'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

Home Business - Wife.

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'Are you flirting with me?'

'Don't look now Muriel. But that Polyphemus guy has been giving you the eye all night.'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.