Flirty Banter Aficionado T-Shirts

I'd like to order a scoop of you. Pardon? I've got a thing for strapping hunks who lug coffee and pastries. What's it going to be, lover? Take me, baby. I'll take you to court, freak! The Angelina Jolie fantasy runneth over.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'

Love in Boom

"Wow, you look sexy today."

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

Know-it-alls

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Sexy Slot Machine

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

'I'm writing a phone book...Can I have your number, please?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Home Business - Wife.

'Fill 'er up!'

If I may paraphrase an old saying, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to urinate like racehorses." ! !

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

"I'm curious. Why did you toss a coin just before you came over here and asked us if we'd like a drink?"

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

'Don't look now Muriel. But that Polyphemus guy has been giving you the eye all night.'