Flirtatious Philosopher Pillows

'Ever thought about living in a monastery?'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

When two philosophers date. So

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Attention Span Man

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"Pretty Maiden where art thou?"

"Is this a sex thing?"

I think we're alone now!

Snake Charmer

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

"You seem like a nice guy - I don't suppose you have a job or anything?"

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

"Oh, I beg your pardon – I'm just looking for my husband."

"That's sweet, but what does 'bulbous' mean?"

Swiss Referendum

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

"You make me want to be a bigger man."

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

'She hates swimming...loves being rescued.'

"Do you play?"

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis.'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

'...and please, please, please, give me a chance to price to you that winning the lottery won't spoil me...'

"Who's he trying to impress? Silly ass!"

"Hi, handsome."

I don't know what came over me that week – I'm not normally that creative.