Flightless Flyer T-Shirts

"For People Who Enjoy Everything About Flying Except Being 30,000 Feet Up In The Air, There's The WIDE -BODY TRIAN!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Walking Luggage.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

A smiling cyclist

Airplane Mode.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Vaccination Passport

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."