Flightless Bird Enthusiast T-Shirts

"So what attracted you to us?"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Polluted geese

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Knight feeding his kids.

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Canada Goose Jackets

Spring Training

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.