Flight Freebie Lover Pillows

'Flight simulator'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Complementary Beverages

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Dog on a plane.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"This is your captain speaking."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

"Check out my free white paper!"

'Termites!'

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

'Prove it.'

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'

Airport security - next step?

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

Toy - with free cereal.

'Buy one get one free' signs coming out of the ground - 'I'm growing them for Tescos'.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"The flights are 99p...but it's an extra £435.89 if you want to take them inside the plane!"

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

'You and your cheap flights!!'

"And then you stick out your thumb like this."

Girl collects hotel toiletries.

"Maybe they've oversimplified the cockpit controls."

'Remember, the best things in life are free - for the first three months.'