Flexibility Aspirants T-Shirts

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Remember, ladies, if you are doing this right you shouldn't be able to do it."

"Yoga helps me unwind."

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

A mid-lithe crisis.

'This part of your office's new flexible-work-from-home-schedule?'

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

The Janopause

Why The Ball Is Jumping Out

"My alignment is pathetic for downward-facing dog."

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'Oh...you actually meant bedroom gymnastics.'

Ballerina

The Acrobat/Musician

'How are your yoga classes working out?'

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

"Oh, gosh! Yoga in twenty minutes."

'I love being my own boss!'

'How's your pilates class doing?'

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

"Management wants to introduce more flexibility into our working hours . . . starting with the 108 hour week."

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."