Fitness Aspirant T-Shirts

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

The rock caricature

Running

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Brad Pitt

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Dog stretching before a walk.