Flavor Fiend Gifts

"This is awful! It tastes like pellets of paste! Here...with these spices, I think I can save it!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Needs salt!'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Harsh Mellows.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Ice Cream Dreams.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Cheese Pile

"I'm unable to process this image."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

Funky Chef 2

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

A menu with risks and benefits

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."