Fitness Innovator T-Shirts

"Here, I've developed a pedometer that keeps track of how many people walk all over you."

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

"Training aid."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

Pole Vault Rules

Psychiatry in the Park

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

A mid-lithe crisis.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'