Fitness Humor Collector Pillows

"You're not getting through the eye of a needle with that ass."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Still on your left."

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

Jeff was watching his weight.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Tred carefully mill.

"I'm beached body ready."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Check out my six pack.

Pontius Pilates

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."