Fitness Gear Neglecter Pillows

My routine.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

Exercising

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

'... And this is the home gym, where we hang all our clothes.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

Old man dusting bodybuilding trophies.

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

"Too much information."

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

'It's not as convenient, but bagged water is half the price of bottled.'

What gym did you say you're coming from?

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

'Let him struggle; it's the only exercise he gets.'

"I watch sports on television. Does that count?"

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

"You're not getting through the eye of a needle with that ass."