Fitness Fun Gifts

'Ok, now everyone jump up and touch the ceiling 100 times with the palms of your hands...'

'Ha! Here's your problem. You haven't been taking the human growth hormones. Someone sold you some other kind of hormone.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

Ah, geez, there goes my groin muscle again.

Humpty Dumpty sat on an exercise ball...

'I had no idea that a 'Low-Fat' diet meant the fat would only go to the lower part of my body.'

'I've worked out, if you lose ten pounds a week, in two months you'll be gone completely.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'This will be a short meeting. Ed can't hold his gut in longer than 20 minutes.'

"Maybe I should get a little more exercise myself.

"I'm with grandad now - yeah, he's fighting fit."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Walking Services

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Well, well, well...'

Yoga for Alcoholics

On the back of the t-shirt...