Fitness Fish Fans Pillows

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"He was a sea rescue."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Fish snorkling above water.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

I told you we were late!

A Preschool of Fish

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Kids with Fish Balloons