Fitness Fish Fans Mugs

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"He was a sea rescue."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Fish snorkling above water.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

Kids with Fish Balloons

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

A Preschool of Fish