Fitness Book Avoider Pillows

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"We need to walk."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

Librarian lifting a very heavy book for the body-building section

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

The Sedentary Dead.