Fissure Finder Gifts

Ground cracking open.

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

'This isn't either a fad! -- It's a major breakthrough!'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'If you think they're confused now, just wait till they start digging up dinosaur bones'

'It looks like a beaver.' - News Item: Beaver ancestor lived alongside dinosaurs.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

The best part of leaf piles... are the sticks.

'I have to cram for a paleontology exam tonight.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'I just want to find out where my apprentice left my favorite drill.'

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

Buried Cable

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

"He's cleaning his room because he needs some fungi and mold for his biology class."

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

Honey, I'm stuck in another pot-hole!

Watson, this is the footprint of a gigantic hound!