Fishing Store Clerk Gifts

"Just the bait, please."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Fragile stamper.

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'Gotta go - business is hopping

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

How much would you take off for cash?

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

Overturned boat.

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"We heard you were swamped with people wanting to buy that livestock de-wormer to treat covid symptoms. . ."

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"