Fishing Store Clerk Pillows

"Just the bait, please."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Fragile stamper.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'Gotta go - business is hopping

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

How much would you take off for cash?

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

Overturned boat.

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'Excuse me, do you need some help?'

'I need a hug. I was laid off at the fish factory.'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"