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"Reincarnated as a goldfish, I must have done something terrible in a previous existance...I must have been a piranha"

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

Horror movies

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"He was a sea rescue."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Leak in the fish tank.

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Cat eats date.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Fishing Boat Derby

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'So what have you been up to?'

"Does the N.R.A. know about this?"

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

Tartar sauce.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

One of a kind.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

Sooners! Opening day of fishing.

"So that's why they are called Perch!"

Fish school toilet protocol.

'Jimmie,it's not nice to call someone a bigmouth.'

'Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just float here and watch them walk around.'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Cod Psychologists.