Fish Puns Gifts

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

Fly fishing.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Shuck me.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

A man bar-b-queing pantless says 'Get yer buns ready!'

'Well, sorry, but I can't see anything exciting happening anytime soon...'

"I love your short-hand. It looks just like a page of wriggly worms!"

"Don't worry, I quite enjoy a fishy breath: Now, open wide..."

"It's a chatter bait."

Take two of these with a glass of air.

Whale Whale Whale.

Vocal Fry

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

"If you change a couple numbers on you expiration date, you'll be old enough to buy us beer."

Fire Exit

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

Fishing from a Fish

'And that's the difference between internet and intranet.'

"You've got your scales on backward."

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

Wild Wild Salmon

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'I'm sorry you're disappointed. What did you think we meant by our 'plaice in the country'?'

'Sure it's a troll-we were trolling weren't we?'

"I forget which one of us is the therapist."

Fishing Lake.

"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."

Fly Fishing