Fish Pun Collectors Gifts

'I'm sorry you're disappointed. What did you think we meant by our 'plaice in the country'?'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

The Bear Fax.

Bell Hop

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

Spiv

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Fish Workout

"How am I meant to be a lean mean killing machine with a name like 'Twinky'!"

"Did you dial the rabbit response line?"

"I love your short-hand. It looks just like a page of wriggly worms!"

Whale Whale Whale.

Take two of these with a glass of air.

the dreaded Testes Fly...

"It's a chatter bait."

"I have to twinkle"

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

Dear thaint Patrick you no drive me away, pleath no drive thnake anywhere. Danger noodle get car-thick.

A Butt Ox

Shop sign announces bacon and eggs to go - no hogs or hens.

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

'What the... another one? Maybe we should move over to his side.'

'And that's the difference between internet and intranet.'

Bloody Mary

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

"Don't worry Josh, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Wild Wild Salmon

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

"I warned him that his laptop was overheating and that he should get it fixed."

"You've got your scales on backward."