Fish Bowl Fanatics Gifts

'I saw him go that way.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"He was a sea rescue."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Fishing Boat Derby

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

Sea Horse outside saloon

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

Tartar sauce.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'Go deep.'

Fish school toilet protocol.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

One of a kind.

"So that's why they are called Perch!"

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

'I'm a freshwater fish in a saltwater world...'

Cod Psychologists.

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"You should have seen how excited I made a couple of oceanographers today."

'This is terrible. If the plankton go out on strike, it'll disrupt the entire food chain.'

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

Goldfish funeral

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'