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Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

I think I can...

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

"What are we doing wrong?"

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Oh! Oh!, there's a problem! Your retirement savings to last your entire life, expired in March, 2009!'

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

Controversial Boxes

"Son, it’s time we had the ‘your mother and me got fleeced by Wall Street and you’ll have to support us’ talk."

'Continuing to deficit spend during a budget crunch is what makes America great!'

"You can't hide from us!"

"Senator, according to this report you've been

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

Cornucopia of Bankers

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

Chines Dollar

Ben Bernanke

'You've got no money. . . that'll be £45,000 please!'

'It's simply not good enough that I don't pay any taxes. Find a way for the government to pay me.'