First World Problem Ponderer Gifts

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

"Stop complaining. Who isn't broke?"

"It's so totally lame lame how much tax you have to pay on the bonuses you give yourself."

Totalitarian Humour

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Formula.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

Quiz

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

Medical Bracelet

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

Mountains and Molehills

'And how long have you thought you are a hawk...?'

Euro crisis

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

'How much do you weigh?'

10 years Euro

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"Do you see a time in the future when I'm less gullible?"

"What are your policies regarding the collection and use of children's data?"

'When we say 'it's not rocket science' we mean it's something far more complicated.'

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."

"Pshaw! I grabbed the wrong bag."

"Why can't I have a skilled team of staffers, like other top executives?"

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"