First-time Cook Gifts

Husband does the cooking

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Domestic Goddess.

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

I made you a cake!

Husband bakes a pie

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Well-done, alright?"

The Inexperienced Cook

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

A Creature WAS Stirring

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

The First Steak.

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Recipes.

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"My compliments to Mummy!"

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'How do you like the souffle?' - 'Great, will you give me the blueprint?'

French man holding a dish.

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'It's going great, hon. I'm just about to stuff the turkey.'

'I tried, Larry, but I guess that whole 'watched pot never boils' stuff was just a lie! Larry?'