First Social Media Post Pillows

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

City Marathon.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Ice shelfie.

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"She looks just like in your photos."

tRUMp, Pirate President

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."