First Museum Visit T-Shirts

'I thought we were going to the zoo too, but look at that red blob there...doesn't it look like a bird? Or a cow?'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

Party Animals.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Culture Saturday

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"Look, a bug!"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo, and the Art of Conversation

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

The Rise of Modern Art

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."