First Mortgage Pillows

'Do you really want a £30,000 mortgage, or is this just another homework problem?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Moving in

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'They're playing house.'

First Marriage

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Starter Homes

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

House hunting is cruel.

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

I have a dream.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

"Call off the siege. It's being converted into ninety-three units of coöperative housing."