First Wedding Pillows

'I now pronounce you first-time weds..'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Romance

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

A heart shaped cake

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

We'll have Manhattans...

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'