First Wedding T-Shirts

'I now pronounce you first-time weds..'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Romance

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"You're the lid to my pot."

A heart shaped cake

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

Why we need poetry. . .

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

Carbon Dating.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

We'll have Manhattans...