First Mortgage Mugs

'Do you really want a £30,000 mortgage, or is this just another homework problem?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Moving in

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'They're playing house.'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

First Marriage

Starter Homes

House hunting is cruel.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

I have a dream.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'