First Edition Fanatic Gifts

The Bible First Edition - Book Signing Today!

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Bowled over again!

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Science fiction fans on other planets

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Currently Boston

"Hold on, that's my Mom dressed up like 'Xena, Princess Warrior'....real mature, Mom!"

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Futuristic Teenagers.

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

Choosing What To Wear.

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

'He thinks there's an evil robot from the future in his closet.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

"Do you think my followers will mind of 'Martin's Theory of Everything' ends after just three installments?"

Shopping Torture

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.