First Aid Teacher Pillows

"Hey, you teach C.P.R. your way, and I'll teach it mine.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

First aid departments

First Aid Box

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Medical Supplies

"My God, now what?"

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

First aid and sculpture

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

"I've got a pulse!"

'Hang on, Donny - Heimlin...Heinlit..dang! How do you spell that thing'

Musical Accidents

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"Will he be okay?"

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Why dogs hate CPR.