Firestarter Historian T-Shirts

"You keep that up, and eventually the earth will be too warm

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

Oog invented fire, then he accidentally sat in it and invented walking upright.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

Glasnost

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'At last we have found 'The Land of the Obsolete Hardware','

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"Let's just binge watch this."

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

'Santa thinks desktops will come back.'

"This thing isn't working."

"For Trog, the discovery of the skewer far outweighed the discovery of fire... Incredible!"

I've invented "fire." It'll accelerate global warming and get us out of this ice age!

Computer Address Book.

The Thinker (Millennials Edition)

International Speculators

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Bonfire

'In ancient times they needed these to watch TV!'