Fireside Companion Gifts

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I heard they mate for life."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Reading the sports pages.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

Wedding Chefs

Get well soon!

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

PJ Parties

Best friends without borders.

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

Happy Valentine's Day

"Love me?"

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

'How long has what been going on?'

Dog in the Bed.

'He's not too picky. He'll sleep through most anything.'

"I could argue about foot and mouth until the cows come home."

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

"Which side do you want?"

McHappy

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

"Life's a binge and then you diet"