Fire Tamers Pillows

Firemen keeping their fire under control.

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

His New Grillfriend

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

Burnt or Raw?

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"You like yours well done, right?"

Toys in the DVD Player.

Need an elevated state of mind too!

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Timber preservation

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

I love Science.

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Who like 'em well done?"

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"Shall I phone the fire brigade yet."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Storm'

Babies

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'