Fire-ready Foodie T-Shirts

'Better lay an extra place for the fireman, dear!'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Sausages.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

Holiday Supplies

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Pan Extension Chord

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"I said, 'Fetch Chardonnay,' not 'Riesling.'"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Cannibal recipes.

Pizza Rescue.

"Appetizer is almost done."

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

'It doesn't say anything....They're having a barbecue!'

"I'm calling it Cajun Blackened Chicken!"

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

'You poached the rabbit in white wine, and poaching's a $250 dollar fine.'

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

Another Rookie Mistake

Paterfamilias makes himself independent of hotels

First Responders - Second Responders.

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"Fire down."

Rotisserie Chicken Rope Maker

'No, don't tell me. . . open the beans.'